My Hands
by GEFM 420
Summary: Chlark. After a crossing a tender line in their relationship, Clark tries to get things back into place. Inspired by the song By Jewl: These Hands 2 Chps, More to Come!
1. Chapter 1

Title: My Hands

Author: GEFM

Genre: Romance

Fandom: Smallville

Pairing: Clark/Chloe

Disclaimer: I don't own. All characters are property of the CW network and DC comics.

Chapter 1

_I won't be made useless._

_I won't be idle with despair._

Walking into the Talon, Clark felt an eerie chill at his back. He turned instinctually to find the door held ajar for a moment too long. He gave the man who stood there an obligatory smile and focused his attentions elsewhere.

An unusually young waitress walked down the circling steps with a tray in hand no doubt back from a delivery upstairs.

The stairwell and the door he would soon be walking through appeared more daunting than any other time before. Behind those doors was a girl who was less than content with him for many significant reasons.

Clark suddenly rethought the choice to bring flowers along – white roses to be specific. Chloe appreciated that sort of gesture most of the time, but now he needed to get down on his knees begging for forgiveness. Even that would not be satisfactory. Appeasement would be far more difficult for his numerous transgressions this past week. He kept imagining her taking the bouquet from his hands and beating him mercilessly with it, various petals flying everywhere in the onslaught.

It was definitely wise to leave them behind.

He climbed the steps that had faced him so often in dark times. He braced himself on the railing and then took the final step upward, reaching out to knock on the door once he did so.

It opened no less than a second later and he, upon entering, found himself to be the solitary inhabitant of the living room.

She then stormed in unexpectedly from one of the back rooms to the kitchen in quite an exaggerated hurry, requisite coffee in hand.

Standing in the center of the room, he watched as she threw on a tan overcoat and messenger bag in believable ignorance to company.

She was halfway out the door when he zipped in front of her, placing both of his impressive arms on the doorframe, sufficiently obstructing any possibility of escape.

"You can't avoid me forever."

"Yeah, because it's only a matter of time before you physically force me." She rolled her eyes and adjusted her bag on her shoulder. "I'd love to stay and chat Clark…"

"…But your busy?"

"That and we have nothing to talk about. I'm not mad at you. At all." Chloe stared him dead in the face, hoping that her conviction would deter any further scrutiny that her fast-paced life could not permit. "Now if you'd be so kind, I have to hand in an article before noon." She pushed onward and he caved regretfully.

Watching from the top of the steps, he silently counted the moments before he saw her fists unclench and heard her heartbeat slow.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_Heartache came to visit me._

_But I knew it wasn't never after._

It wasn't that bad. At least Chloe was speaking to him again.

Even if all their conversations lasted about a whole 5 minutes, during which she spent acting really irritated and fidgety, she was at least trying to forgive him.

Who was he kidding?

She hated him, but couldn't bring herself to say it.

All he'd really done was kiss her.

In the past that was totally fair game. Someone called interference and pulled out a 'just friends' card. Then everything was forgotten and a new play was set up again.

The circumstances that led to it were as extenuating as usual.

They had quite a past of it really.

She was under a spell. They were drugged.

They needed a cover. She was drugged again.

The world was ending.

Irrationality aside, he thought he was entirely within that realm this time too.

She was sobbing into his shirt about the grand unfairness of life, of how she'd finally found happiness to only have it ripped away, of how she would never be able to love another man as she did him.

When she pulled away then, her face had taken on a somber look that called for him to kiss her.

Crying girls freaked him out. If that wasn't extenuating enough...

As far as he was concerned he was **NOT** responsible for his actions.

She had looked stricken and unsure afterwards, but she leaned in again.

There was no precedent in the play-book that had instructions for that. There was a one kiss when lucid rule he was aware of. They wouldn't be able to go back after that and the action would go down in the books for the first time.

It would be completely illegal. If he did it and broke another rule down the line, he'd be ejected from the game…

Then there would be no plays left.

Her lips had parted and her eyes closed reflexively, now awaiting him to make up her irresolute distance.

When he made no move, her eyes fluttered open again and he found himself saying the words she'd said to him so many times. The words that had always set things right.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean—" Her face fell, but he pushed on. "We've always worked so well as friends. I don't want to ruin what we have."

After remaining in silence for a few moments she mumbled something about agreeing and asked if he would go home so that she could finish up for the night.

He had to set it straight.

And he did.

Except, he'd somehow gotten benched in the process.

Maybe hate was too strong a word, because she could never truly abhor a thing about him, but she was angrier now than she'd been in years. She hadn't been this angry since the last time they tested the boundaries of their relationship.

When he'd betrayed her trust and she had betrayed him in return.

His hand ran along the edge of a picture frame on his desk absently. He thought about how he could fix this now, when they could no longer call it even and start a new.

There was too much to loose here, and his heart raced every time he thought about not having her in his life again.

But he knew that as long as she loved him, as long as he cared as equally for her that they would not let it happen.

This fight wasn't forever and he was pretty sure she knew that too.

She needed her space and he needed the time to accept what he had to do.

All that could remedy this would be to take the step he'd been afraid to take that night.

Because it was about time he stopped living in fear of the 'what ifs' in his life.

He wanted her and she wanted him.

That should be all that mattered because she was worth the risk.

Not yet though, not until he'd figured out how to put his feelings into words.

He just hoped he could do it quickly, before the door that had been held open for so many years was finally slammed in his face.

Old flames be damned, he'd put thought into action for the first time in the whole expanse of their relationship.

He pulled a pen and pad from a drawer and began writing.

If he chickened out he could at least send a letter to say all things he was too scared to.

"_I want to tell you a secret."_


End file.
